Hey, for August in Atlanta? The forecast is downright cold. I guess the heat got scared by the outfits at DragonCon.
1. (17) Ricky Stenhouse Jr. , Best Buy Ford
Counting down to the obligatory "How'd Danica take that" comments....
2. (99) Carl Edwards, SUBWAY Ford
Flipper is cheap this week.
3. (42) Juan Pablo Montoya, Target Chevy
Ganassi is replacing the Mantoy next year. It's not that I can't understand, but they're putting in a guy who's barely been in Nationwide for two years, and of this, I do not approve. I don't care how well he's doing. Does the name "Casey Atwood" mean nothing to you people?
4. (11) Denny Hamlin, SportClips Toyota
Damnlin sprained his hand in that wreck at Bristol.
5. (24) Jeff Gordon, Drive to End Hunger Chevy
In a desperate bid to end hunger, the Drive to End Hunger motorhome (no relation to Jeffy's actual possessions) was roasted on the side of the road earlier this week.
Wait, southbound 85 in Jackson County? I know where that is!
6. (20) Matt Kenseth, Husky/Home Depot Toyota
According to MRN, his name is actually pronounced Ken-SETH. No word on whether anybody has informed Matt of this.
7. (56) Martin Truex Jr., NAPA Auto Parts Toyota
In case you were thinking that was a hard hit that Truex took last week--you'd be right. He broke his wrist.
8. (88) Dale Earnhardt Jr., National Guard/Race2Achieve.org Chevy
Triple Threat Award!
9. (18) Kyle Busch, M&M's Toyota
Scrubby snags a JPMSOQ.
10. (48) Jimmie Johnson, Lowe's Dover White Chevy
Okay, just by saying this, I'm ensuring that Johnson will win, but damn, it's been fun watching the ferret on K-naus' head implode these last few weeks.
Guess virgins just aren't worth what they used to be.
11. (22) Joey Logano, Shell Pennzoil Ford
Guess Scrubby will have to share that JPMSOQ.
12. (15) Clint Bowyer, RKMotorsCharlotte.com Toyota
Bowyer really needs to quit being so entertaining, because I'm starting to pull for him, and that way lies head injuries.
13. (47) AJ Allmendinger, Scott Products Toyota
1347: The Byzantine civil war, fought between John VI Kantakouzenos and the regency for John V Palaiologos, ends when both sides decide that they need to focus on creating shorter names. Clearly, the Allmendingers were not consulted.
14. (34) David Ragan, RaceTracHotBoiledPeanutsPeanutPatch Ford
Um, Dave, I think your space bar quit working.
15. (1) Jamie McMurray, E-Z-Go Chevy
Unlike the Mantoy, McMerry will be returning to Ganassi next year. There seems to be no concrete info on how long that contract extension is, however.
16. (27) Paul Menard, MOEN/Menards Chevy
1627: Pirates raid Iceland. Seriously, this rated a Wiki entry.
17. (39) Ryan Newman, Aspen Dental Chevy
1739 was apparently a very boring year.
18. (5) Kasey Kahne, Farmers Insurance Chevy
Because getting chased around by the Allstate girls and being forced to do bad music videos weren't bad enough, Farmers is apparently making Kandy milk cows. I'm thinking his next contract may have a "dignity" clause.
19. (13) Casey Mears, Geico Ford
1913: In proof that the world was just as crazy in the good ol' days as it is now, I present Joseph Knowles, who in August "began his experiment of living alone in 'the uncharted forests of northeastern Maine,' pledging to 'live as Adam lived' for two months. Before a group of reporters, Knowles removed all of his clothes, and walked into the forest without clothing, food or tools. The American press followed his progress by written notes that Knowles left at prearranged locations. Knowles would emerge from the forest on October 4, 1913, wearing a bearskin robe, deerskin moccasins, and a knife, bow and arrows that he had crafted himself."
20. (9) Marcos Ambrose, DeWalt Ford
*consults notes* Nope, nothing on Marcos this week.
21. (10) Danica Patrick, GoDaddy Chevy
As I do not wish to lower myself to wrecking ball jokes, I have nothing on Her Highness.
22. (55) Brian Vickers, Aaron's Dream Machine Toyota
Teh Squish has to go to the back of the field for an engine change.
23. (2) Brad Keselowski, Miller Lite Ford
How were there 110 dictations at 9:50 when I ran out of work 10 minutes later? ....oops, wrong identity.
24. (16) Greg Biffle, 3M Ford
Is Biffle even still out there? I haven't seen him anyplace but that annoying green commercial lately.
25. (30) David Stremme, Swan Energy/Berry's Toyota
Quit blaming Stremme. Let's blame things on somebody really annoying. Like Logano.
26. (33) Austin Dillon, AdvoCare Chevy
Well, if it isn't claireliz81's favorite driver. *grin, duck, run like hell*
27. (14) Mark Martin, Bass Pro Shops/Mobil 1 Chevy
Stewart will be back next week!
Back in the media center, silly. He has to explain how his "silent partner" Haas managed to hire Kurt Busch without him knowing.
28. (31) Jeff Burton, Caterpillar Chevy
*shuffles papers* Nope, still nothing.
29. (43) Aric Almirola, Smithfield Ford
There is a giant, scary stand-up of Aric and Richard Petty at the grocery store. It is not, however, as scary as the big decal on the floor of the meat section.
....I didn't enjoy stomping on Richard's face and you can't prove otherwise.
30. (29) Kevin Harvick, Jimmy John's Chevy
Close but no RCSOQ.
31. (38) David Gilliland, Long John Silver's Ford
Arr, it be the Dread Pyrate Gillyweed.
32. (78) Kurt Busch, Furniture Row/Beautyrest Chevy
Well, if anybody in the field needs beauty rest....
33. (35) Josh Wise, MDS Transport Ford
I keep calling him Timmy Wise. maveness finds this amusing. Timmy Hill, not so much.
34. (83) David Reutimann, Burger King/Dr Pepper Toyota
Having two cars out there with identical paint jobs is kinda annoying.
35. (95) Scott Speed, Leavine Family Racing Ford
Wait. Speed's supposed to be Truex's backup driver. Is he pulling a start'n'park?
36. (7) Dave Blaney, SANY Chevy
37. (93) Travis Kvapil, Burger King/Dr Pepper Toyota
I yelled "Bad Waffle" last week, and for once it wasn't at my cat.
38. (51) Mike Bliss, Phoenix Construction Chevy
The field is Blissful because Bobby Labonte broke some ribs at Bristol.
Is it just me, or was this a particularly brutal Bristol? Damnlin, Truex, and now Bobby, not to mention the bruises etc. that didn't make the headlines....
39. (40) Landon Cassill, Hillman Racing Chevy
Wait, Lando's back? Nobody tells me anything.
40. (87) Joe Nemechek, NEMCO Motorsports Toyota
Joe got screen time last week!
Hey, he's gotta take what he can get.
41. (32) Timmy Hill, U.S. Chrome Ford
I got nothing. I can't even recognize the car on track.
42. (36) J.J. Yeley, United Mining Equipment Chevy
Yeley made out with the wall during practice.
43. (98) Michael McDowell, Phil Parsons Racing Ford
What, no tacky music sponsor this week?