Common terms and abbreviations
- The Bass Boat Song: Invoked whenever the #1 qualifies 11th.
- The Beer Beer Beer Award: Noted whenever beer-sponsored cars qualify together, in any order. Homage to the classic unofficial Agnes Scott College anthem, "Beer Beer Beer."
- Qualifying Memo: A memo sent out weekly to the drivers at Hendrick Motorsports, telling them in which order they are to appear in the final lineup. When a Hendrick driver qualifies notably better or worse than normal, he either stole someone else's Memo or lost his own.
- Rule #34: Front Row Motorsports will never qualify decently, if at all, due to the name. Naming your team "Front Row Motorsports" is just begging the Racing Gods to smite you.
- Triple Threat Award: Given to any driver whose car number in combination with qualifying position produces a number such as 111, 222, 333, etc.
- CMPSOQ: "Casey Mears Palindromic School of Qualifying." In the 42, Mears had a habit of qualifying 24th; hence, any driver whose qualifying position is the reverse of his car number.
- DSOQ: "Dumbo School of Qualifying." A driver qualifies in a position double their car number. Popularized by Kurt "Dumbo" Busch.
- KKSOQ: "Kasey Kahne School of Qualifying." A driver qualifies in a position in which their car number is physically reversed--the 9 qualifies 6th, for example. Popularized by Kasey Kahne.
- JPMSOQ: "Juan Pablo Montoya School of Qualifying." A driver qualifies in a position that is 1/2 the value of his car number. Popularized by Juan Pablo Montoya.
- RCSOQ: "Ricky Craven School of Qualifying." Refers to a period when Craven drove the 32 and had the uncanny ability to qualify 32nd; hence, any driver whose qualifying position is the same as his car number.
- A.J. Allmendinger: Ayjay; Humdinger
- Greg Biffle: Zi Biff. Formerly known as the Bug-Eyed Dummy; Fungus; Piffle.
- Dave Blaney: Cat Toy. Due to a serious fumble by an announcer in 2007.
- Todd Bodine: Billiard Ball the Younger, known for the blinding light off his head in bright sunlight.
- Clint Bowyer: Lanternjaw.
- Jeff Burton: Jeffybuhton. Also occasionally Cat Toy, due to Caterpillar sponsorship (inherited from Dave Blaney).
- Ward Burton: Wahd; Wahd Buhton. You have heard the man talk, right?
- Kurt Busch: Dumbo. He stole the elephant's ears.
- Kyle Busch: Shrub; Scrub. For those of you wondering, "scrub" is a type of desert vegetation, and the Busches are from Vegas.
- Landon Cassill: Lando Cassillrian.
- Chad Chaffin: Chafing Dish; Cha-Cha.
- Carl Edwards: Flipper. If I have to explain this, you need to find a new sport.
- Bill Elliott: Noisome Bill; He Who Will Not Retire.
- David Gilliland: Gilly; Gillyweed. If you are unfamiliar with the term "gillyweed," please consult the nearest reader of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.
- Jeff Gordon: Jeffy; Jeffypoo.
- Robby Gordon: Crash Gordon.
- Jeff Green: Greenjeans. I never claimed these were imaginative.
- Denny Hamlin: Damnlin; the Pied Whiner of Hamlin.
- Kevin Harvick: Harprick. I used to really not like him.
- Sam Hornish Jr.: Smash, due to his habit of hitting everything plus the pace car.
- Jimmie Johnson: Jimsonweed.
- Kasey Kahne: Kandy Kahne.
- Matt Kenseth: Tofu; Evil!Kenseth. Nothing that bland is innocent.
- Travis Kvapil: Waffle; the Dread Pyrate Waffle.
- Joey Logano: Stale Bread; Stale Roll; Locarno; Mr. Ed, due to his unfortunate habit of always talking with a giant fake smile and making his teeth look, well, horselike.
- Mark Martin: Ol’ Wrinkly; Needs Ironing; the Cryptkeeper; GoAwayGranddaddy.
- Jeremy Mayfield: Germy. That's how Benny Parsons pronounced it.
- Jamie McMurray: McMerry. Always happy. And also, in the case of Benny Parsons, always mispronounced.
- Casey Mears: Snrch, due to NOL's habit of abbreviating his sponsors by removing vowels. Formerly Ca-say da Tar-zhay.
- Paul Menard: Sideburns. Have you seen those things?
- Juan Pablo Montoya: Juan Paolo Mantoy. Thanks, Larry Mac.
- Tony Raines: Good Tony. Because he is not, of course, the Bad Tony, that being Tony Stewart.
- David Reutimann: Root.
- Scott Riggs: Riggsy.
- Elliott Sadler: Ellyut.
- Johnny Sauter: Sauterkraut; Johnny Slaughter.
- Mike Skinner: Spinner.
- Tony Stewart: Bluto.
- Martin Truex: Trufax. Stolen shamelessly from
loldrivers. - Brian Vickers: Teh Squish. It is the opinion of many that Vickers is eminently squishable, for various reasons.
- Mike Wallace: Misogyny Mike. Due to an incident several years back where he decided a female driver had no business on the track and therefore punted her.
- Scott Wimmer: Sot Wimmer. Due to a certain drunk-driving incident while employed at Bill Davis Racing; also due to his habit to crash into cars with alcoholic sponsors.
- JJ Yeley: Teh Squash. So named because of his habit to get up close and personal with walls.
Nicknames of other key personnel
- Joe Gibbs: Preacher Gibbs.
- Chad Knaus: K-naus.
- Ryan Pemberton: Pemboy.
- Greg Zipadelli: Zippy.
Other
- Raoul: The untamed mass of hair atop Jimmie Johnson's head, first sighted in 2008 and commonly believed to be an alien intelligence. Scalped near midseason. Hopes remain high for his recovery.
- Francisco: The scruff on Jimmie Johnson's face, first sighted in 2009.
- The Goats: The Famous Fainting Goats owned by David Ragan.
