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17 February 2035 @ 04:54 am
Disclaimer: Pole Follies employs a number of sarcastic and/or fictional terms and nicknames in its weekly reports. No insults are intended to drivers or fans; this is a parody and meant to be fun. Pole Follies reflects only the biases and attitudes of its author and is not meant to be mistaken for any official news source, even if it does have much better grammar and sentence structure.

Pole Follies Glossary of Terms and NicknamesCollapse )
18 April 2015 @ 01:43 pm
Pole Follies: Insert witty cutline hereCollapse )
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I am: accomplishedaccomplished
listening to: Alice Cooper - Poison
11 April 2015 @ 05:12 pm
Pole Follies: Remember the pillows!Collapse )
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I am: sleepysleepy
listening to: Imagine Dragons - I'm So Sorry
28 March 2015 @ 07:58 pm
Pole Follies: Racing for clocksCollapse )
I am: accomplishedaccomplished
listening to: Nightwish - Shudder Before the Beautiful
07 March 2015 @ 02:30 pm
Pole Follies: There better be some narwhalsCollapse )
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I am: awakeawake
listening to: Shinedown - Devour
28 February 2015 @ 02:51 pm
Pole Follies: Are you ready for some narwhals?Collapse )
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I am: accomplishedaccomplished
listening to: Xfinity Atlanta
20 February 2015 @ 06:39 pm
Time for some racing!Collapse )
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listening to: Dokken - Alone Again [Live]
14 February 2015 @ 03:11 pm
Okay, race fans, it's a new season, and your Intrepid Pole Follies Reporter is going to attempt to get her shit together.

Which means I'll probably be struck by a meteor tomorrow, but hey, it's a life.

Pole Follies: What's the name of this thing again?Collapse )
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I am: accomplishedaccomplished
listening to: Nickelback - Never Again
15 November 2014 @ 11:13 pm
Sorry for the extended hiatus, guys. Working Saturdays and this new qualifying scheme just don't go well together.

But I maded y'all a surprise!Collapse )
I am: accomplishedta-da!
listening to: I Napoleon - Sweet Cyanide
31 August 2013 @ 11:12 am
Okay, okay, so I've been having some issues. Sosumi.

Pole Follies: Not-so-HotlantaCollapse )
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I am: accomplishedaccomplished
listening to: Pirates of the Mississippi - The Storm
27 July 2013 @ 10:42 pm
So, the house is firmly planted again, and I'm actually living in it, with utilities and cats and everything, and most of my shit is actually in the house if not unpacked, so I figured, hey, why not restart Pole Follies this week?

Pole Follies: You were named for the DOG?Collapse )
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I am: accomplishedaccomplished
listening to: Crystal Gayle - Baby What About You
09 March 2013 @ 07:18 pm
A brief administrative note: This week I found out that I have to move my house before May 31. Which means not only normal moving stuff, but finding a place to park said house and arranging for movement of said house. So if things get really hectic, Pole Follies may skip a week or two. And I'll end up with about as much hair as Josh Wise.

Pole Follies: Too Rainy For Flying ElviiCollapse )
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I am: accomplishedaccomplished
listening to: Trapt - Headstrong
02 March 2013 @ 07:56 pm
Pole Follies: But half the fans went to VegasCollapse )
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I am: workingworking, supposedly
listening to: Golden Earring - Twilight Zone
23 February 2013 @ 03:45 pm
Pole Follies: Let the hype beginCollapse )
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I am: sillysilly
listening to: Pirates of the Mississippi - The Storm
18 February 2013 @ 11:40 pm
And now, after a long break, Pole Follies returns!

We would have returned for the Shootout, but as usual, Brian France and his minions had their collective head up their ass. Send them the hate mail.

Race 1Collapse )

Race 2Collapse )
I am: accomplishedaccomplished
listening to: Hawaii 5-0
18 March 2012 @ 07:47 am
Pole Follies: Four races in and I'm out of materialCollapse )
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I am: accomplishedaccomplished
11 March 2012 @ 03:18 am
Pole Follies: Another day, another ElvisCollapse )
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I am: awakeawake
listening to: Kenny Rogers - Scarlet Fever
03 March 2012 @ 09:42 pm
Pole Follies: It's a desert, you knowCollapse )
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I am: accomplishedaccomplished
listening to: Star Trek Enterprise: "Detained"
25 February 2012 @ 05:11 pm
Pole Follies: This season on the Danica Patrick Show....Collapse )
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I am: awakeawake
listening to: The Vampire Diaries
18 February 2012 @ 09:04 am
Pole Follies: Time To Practice Those Silly Season ChangesCollapse )
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listening to: Cold Case
19 November 2011 @ 05:58 pm
Sorry about the last few weeks, guys. Things got a little crazy. I'll try to make it up to you with a year-end Follies.

Pole Follies: We may be fined for denigrating NASCAR, but that's okay, I have no moneyCollapse )
listening to: NW Race
23 October 2011 @ 12:31 am
Pole Follies: Way down yonder in the land of JuniorCollapse )
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I am: awakeawake
listening to: The House Next Door
08 October 2011 @ 02:14 pm
Okay, fair warning: Depending on qualifying, travel time, and my mood in general, there is a moderate-to-good chance there will be no Follies next week (unless I can find a Substitute Intrepid Reporter). I seem to have signed up to go to Georgia for a Warrant concert (YAY) with pmgoose (yay) and tenel (wtf have I just done?). Wish me luck, and if I can call you for bail money, lemme know. Now where did I put my portable medical history?

Pole Follies: Dear Dorothy: Hate you, hate Kansas, going someplace where I'm respected. Love, the Wicked WitchCollapse )
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listening to: FireHouse - Reach For The Sky
02 October 2011 @ 08:13 am
Sorry about the skipped weeks. I was recovering from Richmond, and then last week got stuck at my mother's.

Pole Follies: I hope the Monster mashes better todayCollapse )
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I am: lazylazy
listening to: Law & Order
09 September 2011 @ 09:07 pm
Your intrepid Pole Follies reporter and the ever-insane maveness will be completing our pilgrimage to the short tracks at Richmond. Wish us luck.

Pole Follies: Insert witty rejoinder hereCollapse )
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I am: accomplishedaccomplished
listening to: NW race
27 August 2011 @ 04:24 pm
Pole Follies: The Most Wonderful Night of the Year Snuck Up On MeCollapse )
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I am: accomplishedaccomplished
listening to: Rubicon Cross - Next Worst Enemy
20 August 2011 @ 08:41 am
Apologies for the lack of Follies last week. I was blindsided by some bad news.

Pole Follies: Gentlemen, start your naps!Collapse )
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I am: accomplishedaccomplished
listening to: Warrant - Dusty's Revenge
31 July 2011 @ 02:06 am
Pole Follies: Yeah, whateverCollapse )
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I am: awakeawake
listening to: Jesse Stone: Night Passage
09 July 2011 @ 01:11 pm
Pole Follies: Move over, horsiesCollapse )
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listening to: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
02 July 2011 @ 01:31 pm
Pole Follies: Hookups R UsCollapse )
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I am: awakeawake
listening to: Necessary Roughness - Pilot
25 June 2011 @ 04:54 pm
Pole Follies: Turn right! No, the other right!Collapse )
I am: accomplished
listening to: The Muppets - Shiver My Timbers
18 June 2011 @ 11:52 pm
You know, I think I've figured out the reason Pole Follies have been so troublesome this year. It's the lack of Ellyut. We must bring him back to Cup immediately.

Pole Follies: Mention this so-called holiday and I'll cut your heart out with a spoonCollapse )
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I am: amusedamused
listening to: Supernatural: Born Under A Bad Sign
05 June 2011 @ 10:23 am
Pole Follies: I seem to have misplaced my emerald city...Collapse )
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I am: awakeawake. maybe.
listening to: Criminal Minds
28 May 2011 @ 03:47 pm
Pole Follies: Early Edition, at least by my standardsCollapse )
I am: accomplishedaccomplished
listening to: NW Charlotte
15 May 2011 @ 04:37 am
Pole Follies: Monster MashCollapse )
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I am: awakeawake
listening to: Homicide: Life on the Streets
30 April 2011 @ 06:58 pm
Sorry, gang. Just got home. No chance to write Pole Follies this week.

Although if the Nationwide race is any indication, it's going to be a wreckfest.

Happy racing!
08 April 2011 @ 10:38 pm
Pole Follies: I see we gave in to the inevitableCollapse )
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I am: chipperchipper
listening to: NW Texas
02 April 2011 @ 10:35 pm
Pole Follies: What I wouldn't give for a Sooper Sekrit Spayshul Car Part theftCollapse )
I am: awakeawake
listening to: CSI: "Fur and Loathing"
26 March 2011 @ 07:15 pm
Pole Follies: CaliforniazzzzzzzzzzzCollapse )
I am: amusedamused
listening to: NW California